BIBZ - intricacies of life!

i dont know how people do this and so i am asking this question. how can i redirect this feelings for her? there are too many important people involve and with just one move things could get ulgy. the picture - two guy friends of mine are both inlove with the same girl. the same girl that ive been inloved with for quite a long time now. everyone knows i already took myself out of the picture - now, i want to clear out this first. when i said im taking myself out of the picture, it doesnt mean that the feelings are already gone. it literally means that im putting myself ouf of the picture. its like im breaking off the chains that had been locked on her. i made my deal and i intend to stick to it. so now, it should  be understood that this feelings that i have for her would never just go that easily. it will take time. another problem is how will i do it when we always see each other and everytime that happens i see myself sinking in a quicksand. its like seeing her always for the first time and all you hear is how your heart fastly beats to her tune. dont get me wrong. i enjoy hanging out with her( and with our other friends). and so, avoiding her is the last thing on my mind. now, she tells everyone that im her bestfriend. i dont know if thats just her escape route or she truly sees me that way. whatever the truth is, its hers to tell. third problem - those two guy friends of mine - although the other is saying that he feels no more for the girl. now, its not for me to contradict this because he also has his own side of story. the other guy is the one that i think who’ll try to push himself to the edge. everytime he’ll make a move he’d always ask for my blessings which he never fails to do and i appreciate it. it takes the true knight out of the man. the only problem is that there is something that he sees in me and could not let him go on. even all the assurances and blessings i give doesn’t prove a bit. its like a man to man vibe that everything is not everything. now what can you say to that? everything that you say leads to another question and sometimes it goes up to a point when you dont have answers anymore wondering that if given the chance would you change your answer to the first question?

putcha talga oh! departmental week na. ang hirap humabol. ito na ang napapala ng iskul bukol! anak ng tokwa talga. kanina lang review ako ng tax1… parang puputok na ulo ko sa mga figures na yan. ang dami pang dapat na iconsider na mga rulings at mga exemptions. hassle to the max broder! bukas sigurado masisiraan na ako ng bait. puro acctng namn dapat i-review. kasi naman ang kumpare niyo akala eh graduate na. punta dito punta doon. gago talga. kala mo sya ngbabayad ng tuition nya. hay naku… buwaka na bitch talga! hayip! baliw! self-review na lang nga ang nanyayari. pakshit talaga! apat ang exam ko ngayon linggo. kanina madedemonyo na naman ako sana buti na lang talga naimbento kahit papano ang word na self control. malamig ang panahon eh! tuesday pa nga raw eh! anak ng pating talga! buray ni ita nyan oh! pagsusulit na masimot! basta dapat ngayong linggo masagutan ko naman kahit papano ang mga exams. kahit hapit to the max and chuchubells yan oh! hmph!

9am. punta ako library para mag-aral sa mga acctng subjs ko. wala pa ako 1hr na nagbabasa biglang nagtext si don jerome. pucha, masisira na naman carreer ko. pinuntahan ako sa library at nagyaya na agad kumain sa labas. eh gutom na rin ako eh di sige. kasama ko at that time si rose at jo-ann. dumiretso kami mang-jimmys. dun na kami nglunch. fiesta ba noon at ang daming pinago-order at take note mga amigo at amigas… politics ang pinaguusapan namin. seryosohan na talga itetch. hehe. pagkatapos kumain hinogz si jom at nag-ayang maginom kahit isang bote lang. so ayun diretso naman kami sa blue finn sa katipunan. inom tig isang san mig lyt. eh habng andun plano na agad si jom ng gimik para sa gabing yun kasi nawala nga naman sya for almost a week dahil sa sinasamahan nya ung pinsan nya kung san-san. di ayun unang plano dapat eh sa cuatro para pagkatpos punta decades for a little groove. hehe. eh hapon wala na klase kasi may miting de abanse sa school nga. tong its buong maghapon sa bahay. tpos pagabot ng dilim ayan na po at naghahanapan na ng gimik. eh sabi ko naman para accessible sa lhat at tsaka di hassle masyado eh dyan na lang kami sa gerrys libis kasi malapit lang. di ayun na nga gerrys na kami. andun si kuya dondz naka-formal and everything, asha, jom, june, jez, ako, at ang walang kupas na si wado. tang-ina lufet talaga ng half-brod kong to. everytime na andyan si toot eh putcha dumarating palagi. astig ka bro. hehe. di ayun kulitan, harutan, kahit nasa upuan sumasayaw. tuwa nga yung dj samin dun eh kasi puro rnb tska hip-hop ung sounds nun. eh syempre kasama si wado. talgang mahahawa ka sa mga dance moves ng mokong. baha ng beer at pulutan pwamis. tapos nung uwian. may kupz na bumili ng white roses… seryoso na nga talga. wowee!

"love changes you. the way you think.. the way you act.. the way you decide. sometimes you even go against your principles and beliefs in life. loving doesn’t mean you’ll be happy, sometimes, all it gives you is pain and misery. yet, you are blinded by strong emotions that you fail to see reality. sometimes, letting go is the only answer and it hurts like hell but you will soon realize dat its better to the person you love to be happy with someone else than lonely with you. its called sacrifice…"

oo na.. oo na.. sinusubukan na nga eh!!

life can be confusing sometimes. ive tried to set myself free from something that baffled me for quite a long time instead it backfired. it was a situation i thought would clear out everything and it ended up another problem to be settled. it just saddened me more because others misunderstood it thinking that i was again trying to make a fool out of myself when what im really trying was to have myself out of the picture. i was trying to save a friendship and not lose one. it was never my intention to screw things up. im quietly happy and satisfied now and if others still dont understand that then everything ive sacrificed is worthless.

lately, ive realized something that had blinded me for quite a long time now. i never thought that ive been living in a fantasy world the whole time. although i already knew from the start that there is less possibility that things would turn out the way ive expected them to be. it gave me something to hold on until now.  friends would even tell me that i should wake up from a dream that would never come true beacuse its me who’ll get hurt in the end. still, ive been denying myself the truth.

pero ngayon… gising na tang-ina mo! gago ka pala eh! umayos ka nga!

salap… salap… salap…. relo… sapatos… salap… salap… salap…
             aruy… aruy… luvlyf… aruy… aruy… aruy….
               hik… hik… bday ni asha… hik… hik…

FWENDS, KINDLY READ THE FF:

mac… gusto maging si kyle abaca daw! talga nga naman. malapit na.
mac… nagets ko na ngayon ung gusto mo sabihin sakin.
arlas… im trying! papunta na rin dun.  naiiintindihan ko na mga sinasabi mo.
dro… i was really more than willing…
jom… study hard pare! kelangan nating dalawa yan.
hope… pwamis! nakakainis!
edward… tama ka pare dun sa mga sinasabi mo sa akin nung una mong malaman.
clif… hayip! cant reach you pare! stay cool, ayt!

jez… susundin ko lahat ng payo mo.
rose… ur ayt man! ur such an ate to me!
joan… basta happy ka! go lang palagi!
june… kung san ka masaya suportahan ta ka! hehe
mawi… invite mo ako sa kasal mo ha. m hapi for u!

manny-kit-allen-jontou-ronnel… paramdam naman kau mga brod. sistema paguwi. okies.
geof-tp-toto-jovel-ryan-mik2-wado… ano na mga ser?! tara! kitakits naman tayo dito manila.